i've taken a quick moment for this despite the fact that i'm super busy today =/

My Co-Worker Is a Slacker ... and My Boss Doesn't Care!
(click to read the full article)

excerpts from the article:

"Ignoring a slacking colleague's behavior might seem easier than a confrontation, but when one person on the team is slacking off, it usually affects everyone else's productivity, too.
Kerry Patterson, workplace communications expert and co-author of "Crucial Confrontations" and "Crucial Conversations," says slacker workers not only create more work for others, but their behavior also affects morale and team cohesiveness.

"As individuals tire of carrying more than their fair share of the load, they become upset. Sometimes their anger is aimed at the person in question, but it's equally common for people to become disappointed in the team's leadership," Patterson says.

"[They] ask such questions as, 'Why do the bosses allow this to continue?' and 'Why do hard-working employees receive greater and more complicated assignments while low performers are allowed to slide?' As employees spend more time thinking about, complaining about and talking to their friends about inequitable treatment, productivity takes a dive."

i think all bosses should read this article. oh, slacker too.

finally..

after about 2 months (wait let me check my logbook, oh i started to work on this on 2 Oct 2009 - oh that's when i stop writing for a while!), the construct finally comes out! (yayy!)

1st trial:

-- totally wrong insert! =S changed ligation system.

trial 2:

-- still fail, insert size doesnt tally!


Trial 3:

--yessss yess!! finally! at least the insert size tally. of coz, it needs to be sequenced. and i already send them for sequencing. now it's like what i told yanming, it better comes back after chistmas! *chuckle*

my boss is going on leave for 2 weeks! spare me from his mumbles and nagginess (double yayy!!)
i'm so in holiday mood now, with my lab manager chatting with her friend on the company phone behind me.

i guess EVERYONE is in holiday mood now!

HAPPY HOLIDAY! (although it still quite sometimes away..)


p/s* corrections, i didn't do the construct like full time 24/7 - some other works like cell culture, ES cells, WB, transfection, was on-going during the 2 months. you thought my boss was so good only let u concentrating on ONE task at any ONE time?? FAT HOPE!! duh...

some friends commented why i never post anything lately.

reason(s):
a) i'm busy
b) of (a), i'm beat
c) i've got nothing to write
d) of (c), i don't feel like writing them down
e) All the above

melt.

"Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

-Eclipse

how not to be touched, tell me?
i want a boyfriend like that leh.

niteyz.

pengz-

seriously, it's like i JUST change to this newer version of msn, then this.
considering i never like this latest version of msn. hmph.
(in case you wonder, i only install this latest version of msn coz they (who?_) wont let me to sign in previously coz my version of msn is 'out of date')

i cant seem to find anything that starts with 'windows live messenger...' on the Add or Remove Programme thing under Control Panel.
might as well. goodnite world.

-sob-
save me. =(

+++

i hope no one suffers from the unknown virus my msn has been disseminating.
but it's bloody late now and i dowan to go around with the uninstall/install or run virus programme =(
what i need is sleep now. probably i will just haed sleep without waiting my hair to get dry.

next time i wont go makan after OT ald. it's so fattening i'm swear.
aww, my o bak kak.

/想得多， 到底是好事还是坏事呢？
/拼命抓着过往的人、事、物，其实只是个惯性的姿势罢了。
/过了，就是过了。任凭你呼天喊地、怨天尤人，还是错过了。
/放手，是一门很深的学问。

+++

i did a lot of thinking lately. to reflect what happened in the past and present. sometimes it's impossible to revert the impressions, whether true or false, that others have on you. i was reading what my friend mjo* on her blog, telling how that ONE incident to make her transformed and since then "converted into a really practical person.. no longer mind how people look/ thnk of her, no longer allow her heart affecting her decisions". although i have no idea what is that particular incident that transformed her, i truly admire the courage of no longer mind how people look at you. although others like tijsmfz* and zt* have been telling me one doesn't have to mind how the surrounding people think of you. but.. still, to know about it and to actually execute it, it's two total different things. i can even say it could be my low self-esteem. or whatever. it might not appear to be that way to some.. oh well.

+++

time really flies.
it was not until ivjkjf* actually mentioned that we went to Brisbane River Festival that i realized that ONE whole year has passed. not to mention baby Ashriel has grown to 1 year old, totally different from what he was like when he is newborn (what am i saying, of course that will look different!). then again, for the one whole year, the ugly scene between I, G and me is not resolved. not even close. it's ironic that the older a person get, the longer a 'fight' will last if there is one. do you still remember when you fight with your neighbouring kids during kindergarten, how long the whole scene last? one week? one day? or probably, less than one hour.
grown up are complicated. as illustrated in Le Petit Prince.

if IG was not there, i might talk to G. or might not. oh well, people might not even care.

i couldn't agree with NG in our phone conversation before he left in regards to I's thinking.
but for sure, i won't exert mine thinking to I. as return, i hope NG won't ask me to accept what I's thinking. to understand is one thing, to accept is another.

/放手，是一门很深的学问。

+++

ld* chatted with me on msn the other day with regards to sfj*. i'm glad that he is over it. somewhat this remind me of xi* that i rejected looooooooong long time ago. i still remember how i was scolded upside down by sec school buddy J and P back then.
okie, blame that i'm picky. blame that i'm choosy. blame that i long for something that might be not realistic. all blame on me, alright?
i just don't want to waste your time. your energy. or maybe at the end, your time and energy to grieve or hate.

i once listed out 10 must-have that i'm searching for in partner, and that is to shut my poly buddy boesfy* up.
and i forgot to tell him, with this one criteria that fit in, the list of 10 must-have is overruled.
that criteria is feeling.

+++

on the happier note, the eye candy will be in charge in admin for the new lab that we are currently setting up. truth to be told, i'm freaking out with all these lab set-up. the next job i wana get is in some established labs. no more lab set up please.

but to hold my cough in front of this eye candy is so hard a task! i don't want to appear like TB patient before sucha eye candy sia =(

PS* IT'S JUST EYE CANDY. or a nice scene at work. do not let your thinking run wild.

+++

thanks to bmbo* for his company to church. although he is a church-goer himself and it's definitely no big deal for him, i appreciate his presence and didn't try to be cheeky. lol. that (almost annoyance?) would be the last thing is need after sat night.
pastor kong is really good in preaching i must say. but why am i always attend service on chapter ruth? -scratch head-

+++

talking to zt* is always comforting and happy. we know each other for almost 7 years now but we don't have much mutual friends. mutual acquaintance, yes. that is why her point of view is mostly objective. she is those kind of people that won't bug you for meet up every single week. we can don't see each other for months, only 2 emails in a whole year (that was when i was in brisbane-- but she was the first who sms me and said 'welcome back to singapore za bo' when i came back). when i run into trouble she will help if it's within her limit. when i run into problem she will counsel and give opinion, cool and calm. and that, somewhat calm me down too.
za bo, i understand your intention as well.. distance is beautiful at times. each individual need space and time of his/her own. i appreciate your friendship just as you said 'friend is scarce so friend that worth it must keep to heart'..
za bo, we'll go to eat durian when the next season k, even if my throat sore until must go hospital already also i will go.. ha...

+++

i'm seeing the ortho specialist tomorrow so i went for a jog just now, despite the fac that my calf/ knee is feeling the needle-pricking pain.
coz i'm not sure how long will it take to recover if i really go for op.
at least now the jogging shoes is not brand new sitting on the shoe rack waiting for its doom. heh.

on mc

i was on mc last friday because of knee pain. (although i still went back for work on sat & sun. grr)
side note: my specialist appointment is on next tue. to prove that i'm not being 不舍得 (literally 'unbearable') this stuupid cyst (quoting my colleague), i will get it remove should the doctor agree.
the previous consultant thinks the complications and inconvenient are too much to bear for such case so refused to have an op on that.

today and tomorrow will be on mc as well coz of sore throat, fever, runny nose, headache (in short, series of flu-like symptoms). could be due to that ONE slice of bak kwa that i my coll brought for us, and several pieces of double choc chipsmore. in any case, i din know they are so potent!
and i actually feel like eating durian ytd. brilliant.

i shall prepare for interrogation from admin side when i resume work. haiz.

oh, end up efg is talking about other thing regards pqr..
i'm so sorry, efg. =p

now i'm laughing. over my stupidity.
and being impulsive.
paiseh ah, efg.. ha...

(sista ald, dont take it to heart k..)

p/s: im using abc def pqr xyz for N years later i wont remember who is who in these unhappy scenarios =)
i'm so smart.

super foul mood! stay away!

it could be due to pms.

blardy hell lar, jsut when i was happily chirpy away since my boss went on leave and i 'siam' after finish up my work at 4+.

then i went to the bank which closed 3 minutes before i reached.
then i went to the clinic to get the referral letter which promised ready. but not yet ready. not even close.
then i went home and my landlady nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag.
then my absent colleague called and nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag.
then i went msn and friend abc requests me to advice my friend xyz not anyhow add people on some friendship network site.
abc was abit pissed.
xyz was also pissed.
tmd. both side is upset with me. win le lor. like my fault they wana add each other/ accept their request??? if you dont know that person or u dont want to add him/her, u can GO AHEAD AND IGNORE THE REQUEST.
i should delete my account! no eye see.
^%T$&^%@@!

and my kneecap/calf/ (?) leg is as painful.
and by wearing the knee guard the skin around my kneecap is getting allergy kindda reaction.
pengz.

then friend efg finally ignite my whole foul mood scenario to the max when he sorts of trying to get words out of my mouth by dragging friend pqr to the picture.
and he succeeded.
i feel sucha dumb.

gah, dont tell me anything. although my level of curiosity is always high, let my cat be killed. please. 'coz ignorance is a bliss. that something i learned so far.

cold shower time!

A special son. A special love.

One day, a son asked his dad, "Let us go for marathon. Both of us. Okay?"
"Sure".
That was their first marathon.

The second time, the son asked his dad again, "Marathon, both of us, okay?"
Dad agreed again.

Another time, the son asked his dad, "Let us go for triathlon. Both of us. Okay?"
Triathlon is a multi-sport event that requires high endurance and consists of swimming of 4km, cycling of 180km, and running of 42km.
"Alright. Both of us. We will participate".

It seems like a simple story. Plain even. But you might think otherwise after you watch this:




- more story on this father and son, google using "hoyt" (save my effort trying to explain what happened with my lousy story-telling skills on the web).
- i was reading on *baker's cyst and running and i came across this by chance. With this cyst thing, i'm having an mc tomorrow.

milk is good for teeth and bones

so i had more than 4 cups of milk for dinner that i feel like an infant.
and i'm still drinking milk for supper.

well, it's because the 2L milk is going to expire tomorrow, 2nd sept.
i must be blind enough to overlook. =S

i would used it for milk bath if i have a bathtub at home.

will i grow taller because of sudden large intake of milk? heh. =)

Hari Kemerdekaan Malaysia

Hari ini Hari Kemerdekaan ke-52 Malaysia. Oleh kerana saya berada di Singapura, hari ini bukannya hari cuti untuk saya. Memang membazirkan kerana hari ini hujan renyai-renyai sepanjang hari. Takkan baik kalau boleh tidur nyenyak kat rumah? ha..

Saya bertulis dalam Bahasa Melayu di sini untuk menunjukkan bahawa saya masih anak Malaysia (a-hem), dan saya masih ingatkan Rukun Negara (Maka kami, rakyat Malaysia...), Negaraku (tanah tumpahnya darahku..), dan lagu negeri Johor (Allah peliharakan Sultan..).

Pengsan. Semua di atas ini telah gunakan saya lebih kurang 40 minutes minit. Sekiranya ini ujian, dah mestilah fail. Nasib baiknya bukan. Eh, jangan ketawa lah k? Buat macam terharu sikit, muntah darah lar saya cuba type-kan yang kesemua ini..

+++

okie, end of the seemingly alien Bahasa Melayu entry. heh. =D

I haven't been around for sometimes 'coz either the laptop or internet is screwed. Either way, things are solved.

I finally had some life (?) after each boring days of work. lolx. thanks to the lappie which dies off without warning some days ago.

1. Met up with za bo zfutijo* on Friday night. Looooooooong catch up, movie, etc. Too bad the night is too short *pout*. And i think we did a good job by running for the last bus, instead of taking cab after the movie. Heh. =)
Although it's freaking scary to walk alone on the street at night, especially on this period (see below).

2. Met up with tfmxjo*'s friend, bmfy*, who is a financial planner. I guess he will give up trying to clinch ANY deal with me after he knows how much i have to spend (on necessaries), and thus i have totally NO extra money for anymore insurance.
Well, i might consider investment. Not too long term. Not too risky. Is there any?

3. Met up with ybiybi*, my ex-roommate in Commonwealth, for her 3xth birthday. And she doesn't even look like in late 20s. I wana learn her tricks on keeping her youth. ha.
Oh, it was bloody hilarious when over the late buffet lunch, ybiybi* overheard the conversation of our neighboring table (they are Burmase), and how they gossip about us..
It's abit like when you are on train and overheard some aunties are talking about you in some rare dialect thinking that you won't know they are talking about you.
Stupid.

4. Met up with fmgjo* for.. just hanging around. Well, I'm suppose to treat him movie for his help on some lab purchasing stuff. Yea, suppose to, but didn't =( He insisted to pay. Not even AA. Pengz. I want to return favour sia..
Oh, probably by smuggling out the extra cooler pack for Western blot (during transfer) to him tomorrow if he dropped by the building I'm working. Will see how it goes.
Thanks for the night hanging out together. Sorry that I killed the cat. =S

5. In item #1, we watched Coco advant Chanel. I still likey Audrey Tautou after her Amelia.
Except it's in French and i totally don't understand anything and it's almost tooo tiring to catch the subtitles. Yea lar, i could have do without the subtitle (like just watch the scenes), but i want to know what the director/script writer is trying to express, like fully/totally.
Grab the chance while still can.
In item #4, we watched Moon, which is the winner of some awards. Well, totally one-man show. Remind me of how scientific knowledge will be exploit by people who is.. unethical. Who says clone is without feelings?
While i'm doing ES cells, this never come into my mind. Human clone? My foot.

6. I don't remember who told me the benefit of living at higher floor means less insect.
I beg to differ. Living in higher floor does mean less insect that CRAWL.
On the other hand, there are still those that fly. =S
Like a flying cockroach. Episode 2 in less than a month time.
Bloody hell, and this time round i waited for about 45 minutes and it showed NO intention of leaving the house. And my neighbor past by so he helped to -a-hem- killed it.
Aiyo, if he is 10 years younger, not bald, no too-big-the-belly, i might consider him lor.
okie, relax. i'm just kiddin.

7. It's not like i check the Chinese calendar so frequently.
But i was reminded that it's now the.. well, 7th month (the month with ......), on the FIRST day of the month. -.-"
Well, it was by seeing people start to burn offerings and stuff to the ....
Haiz. It's so damn scary lar (giving i'm living alone). It wasn't this bad when i was in Brisbane last year, and i have totally NO IDEA about it until the whole month is over.
It's the culture. Yes, culture.

8. Sorry to cfs*, jsfof* with the recent incident on you-know-what. If you are reading this and you know who you are, i hope you are coping well.
Buck up buck up! It's not the end of the world. Not quite yet.
Hope is still around the corner. You just need to make that turn. =)

Totally not related to this entry, my biological clock is screwed again, and it certainly reflects on my undereye. Gah, my youth is leaving me..

--entry finished at 1:30AM.

the night that was too exhausting

yes. and it's due to one bloody cockroach.

i should have started the powerpoint presentation on research updates wayyy before (anyway, it's over and my boss is happy with tht progress). then again, i'm always procrastinating for what-not reasons =S

anyway, back to the post - it was Tuesday night i'm talking about.

I WAITED PATIENTLY (at about 130am, for almost an hour) FOR A COCKROACH TO LEAVE MY TERRITORY. -pengz-

i didn't even notice when it flies in (yes it FLIES thus the horror). if i never diligently worked till that late, i might never encounter it. (although there IS chance that i'm still awake doing brainless stuff).

it could the worst of all since a junior roach that wont fly already freak me out to the max (the geli feeling), let alone something which flies (in a super fast way), big size (about 2 inches long?), and in the disgusting brownish color.

my first instinct is to grab slipper, and head over kitchen to find pesticide spray. alas, i can't find any at home. i would call my landlady if she keeps any pesticides at home if it was not after midnight. then i decided to open up ALL the windows and door (except my room), and hopefully the roach will 'find his way out'.

so there, i waited patiently for almost an hour (from far of coz) for the roach to find his way to his territory. i'm pretty sure he doesn't mean to invade mine (*pouts) so i decide to let him live.

(alright. truth is, i don't even to go near him coz i think he will crawl to me)

i told my colleague about the incident and she thinks it's a blessing in disguise that i don't have pesticides at home, since, according to her, pesticides spray makes the insect panic and run/fly for its life (or probably 'attck' you), and in the process, i will be the one running about!


p.s: did i mention i noticed this roach has really loooooooooong antenna? i think it's more than 10cm!
p.p.s: i noticed p.s above coz there were times i feel so damn hot and sweaty that i went switch on the fan and i guess the air current got something to do with its antenna so it starts to move around a little bit -.-"
p.p.p.s: i was thinking to myself while waiting- no one could come and rob me with door and windows wide open deep at night. i will practically ask anyone who walked by to help me with the roach lor. but well, it's late at night so there isn't anyone. haiz.
p.p.p.p.s: i bath again after the roach left. felt sweaty on top of maximum level of exhaustion.
p.p.p.p.p.s: my coll was saying roaches in Aussie moves slower (not sure if they fly too). then again, i've never seen roaches in Aussie. Spider, yea.
p.p.p.p.p.p.s: last p.s -- this explains why roaches are so.. eww.

long overdue

coz i wrote this and saved it and did not get to this publish this after endless attempts. refer to this.

+++
thanks to tijsmfz*, i'm OT-ing at home with this--

i know it might sound a bit 老人家, but i like the feeling of calming and warming. okie, probably not the latter as singapore is already warm enough!
still, i like it. it's better to turn 'tea-olic' instead of alcoholic, no?

+++
遠く離れても 明日が見えなくても
愛を止めないで
この海の果てはやがて青い空へ続いてる
ひとりじゃない
この胸に愛は生きてる
-Alive

Mada, hitori desuyo.
Hitori jyanai? when will that be?

+++
i almost teared when i read kfsbme*'s "Personal Conundrums..." on FB, which goes like this --
- To put out a fire when you are not willing to search for the source.
- To travel via coach when you've been flying for years.
- To break someone to pieces because YOU think it's the right thing to do.
- To forgive those who are unworthy of forgiving.
- To express sufficient gratitude to those who helped in different times of your life in different ways.
- To believe in god when you don't believe in the church.
- To identify the line not to cross in all your relationships.
- To stay healthy when you can't exercise properly in an environment of unhealthy choices of food.
- To keep your cool when deep inside you've already pictured how their guts look when you rip it out of 'em.
- To stay unchanged in different stages of your life.
*edited version: a few sentences that were '???' were removed and not included in this entry.

no fanciful must-flip-dictionary vocabularies. but there, it just touches me! probably because the kfsbme* i know for ages, together with zfohybj*, are well-known for their lamest jokes, that i always take HOURS to finish one meal if with them ('coz i can't stop giggling).
-amused mood-

goldfish memory

i'm so afraid i might forget/mix up the day i will just write it down here, hopefully i will remember (by then) =S
(i DID forget, and that i have to log on to the ancient friendster to retrieve -.-" and guess what, i realized many people still actively playing friendster lol. i shall try log on my icq one day. heh.)

okie, this is it--
AUGUST 26!!!!

oh god, please bestow me superb memory power. amen!

The Storyteller passed away

i know it's wayyy too late to post up something has to do with CNY.
but i lurve this ad.



the director for the ads, Yasmin Ahmad, that i mentioned for several times in my previous entries, passed away.
stroke and brain hemorrhage.
that's how fragile and unpredictable life is.
we will be missing you for all the brilliant ads you ever made. (and guess we won't have some good one for coming Hari Kebangsaan and Hari Raya and Deepavali).
rest in peace.

p/s* she also directed "Family"(previously mentioned) and "Funeral" for Singapore Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

"...in the end, it's these small things that you remember, the little imperfections that made them perfect... for you." -- from Funeral.

there, i've changed this again. back to the white background i likey. =)

when do i start blogging?

i almost forgot when do i start to blog. or why. or both.
until mja*, my online buddy from icq (yes u see it right, of coz already transferred to msn now) that i never meet before, asked me about it.
it took me more than a couple of hours to recall. and i finally did when i was taking shower just now. my memory is indeed failing me. now, i have both short and long term memory lost!

this is it. the place i started to blog. no. not blogspot. not livejournal. not wordpress. but the ancient not-as-popular MULTIPLY.
and that was wayyyyy back to 2004!

as i flipped through those entries, to say i feel like-me is an understatement. i'm totally astonished! some of those i mentioned in the entries - i cant even remember who are they. thanks to the lousy naming system i used last time.

i don't even bother to change the name of the blog. or the -ahem- very weird looking photo in that account. and you might feel surprise why i still remember the password, eh? truth is, i always use this ONE password for all my accounts be it personal or not. thus i'm so NOT going to forget my password. most of the time, i forgot my userID =p

looking back at those ah-lian teenager writing style, suddenly i feel old. lol.

ROFL

*cough cough cough*
it's SO hilarious that i keep laughing (and coughing)!

my friend xbmmbdf* insists that i should try this application on FB that claims to "predict who you're destined to marry using advanced calculations".

and the results?
-drum roll-


jsjt* younger brother, who is NINE YEARS younger, top the list!
really, suuuuuuper hilarious, i cant help but roll on floor laughing! (plus coughing!)
ha, what a way to end a day. lol.


side track:
1. sorry hor, i'm not against 姐弟恋 (younger than 2 years range still ok, after all, 3 years = generation gap), but the result is wayyyyyyyy too hilarious. 9 YEARS ler, not 9 MONTHS. i wonder on what the 'advanced calculations' is based on.
ROFL!
*cough cough*
2. sorry ah xbmmbdf*, i know u said i'm the 1st in your list *eyes baffled* but according to the "advanced calculations", i would "run at the altar"! doesnt tally ler!
3. who is this 'mun'??
4. and the not-playing-fb and totally innocent bernard tan is on the list as well. what the -.-"

rubbish!! muawahahhaaaa.... *cough cough cough*

the scientist symptom

- constantly not enough sleep.
- constantly mixed up days in a week (the very -ahem- successful scientist aka my boss actually thought it's THURSDAY tomorrow. roarrrRRR)
- have either super long lunch hour (due to long incubation) or no lunch hour at all.
- u have an open mind but brain kept falling out.
- u accept that what has been told to u to be a fact was proved wrong the next day/week/month/year.
- playing with bubble wraps used in packaging if new machine comes in *POP POP POP POP POP*
- playing with dry ice after use by splashing water to create the bride-walking-down-the-aisle moment.
- keep promising yourself u will go on leave when u are done with your project, but alas! money not enough.


shall update again if i come across more =)
niteyz world.
*cough cough cough*

ima sucha dumb!

*&^$(&^()*)(Y#2*&@@&)_?!

i can't believe it.
i did it again. tonight. just now.
no idea what? see here.

i could have gone for my drama series to bed more than an hour earlier, should this never happened!
and i can also confirm i used it during those sneezing and coughing! &^(*)@##*(

stupid lar. gah.

this becomes an entry after i find my reply to ju on my previous entry was wayyyy too long to be a 'reply'. *cough cough*

well, i didn't really go for any laboratory testing to confrim whether it IS H1N1 or not- then again, according to the GP, if one is having flu-like symptom now, chances are, you are right hit on!

not to mention that my colleague's sister is a H1N1 positive case. and my colleague was down with flu last week. so yea. let your imagination run wild (or not?) and do your math on probability count whether i DO have it or not.

i guess it's getting more and more common now as what reported on the news some days ago, that my boss thinks that 'it's no big deal that one catches h1n1 and should come to work if it's not too serious'.
so there, i still report to work as usual. although i do have mc from GP. *sniff sniff*
my colleagues are saying they are so gonna haunt me if i really take the full 5 days mc. lolx.

- with mask on and constant coughings and some sneezings and i'm really like a big walking bug in the lab now.
- mask is good. i can cough cough cough cough cough my lungs out and there will be something to catch them. *cough cough**clear throat**ahemmm*
- my voice is huskily sexy now the whoever at the other end of phone line has no idea what am i talking about.
- i have sudden craves for roast duck and been having roast duck hor fun for lunch for past 2 3 days. although according to colleague jtb*, this is an awful way of taking care of yourself when you are sick.
- i beg to differ since i have to work when sick, i DO think i must treat myself better and satisfy whatever cravings that hit. =p

colleague jtb* still hopes he will get the bug from me. well, if he never get it from colleague kifivj*, chances that he WILL be getting one is SO low. or almost never.
he's a strong boy. lol.


sidetrack:
--i lost my password to the chatbox and still trying to fix it up.
--the dream seems SO real. i can still remember every single details that it freaks me out.

1. i have to promise myself not to take cab to work anymore. i hate how i lose my money on cab rides.
although the thought of that deadly sloooope is damn tiring, i shall think positive - the effect it's gonna have on my thigh, calf, back, or even -ahem- butt muscle.
heh.

2. i had a weirdest dream last night. i dreamt of this someone (sorry can't tell. and i've run out of ways to code and de-code since all my friends/readers are very smart). maybe i will tell u if we meet up.
and i dreamt of my grandma who is quarterly paralysed. =(
it's so heartbreaking to see someone that holds/feeds/takes care of you when you were young, doen't recognize you anymore.

3. cfs* called from aussie on sunday (or was it saturday?) and we chatted the longest time since i know him (or was it?)
oh well, before u think too much, his lappie crashed. that's why. heh.

4. ms cbo* called me this morning when i felt all lethargic and unwilling to work (sore throat is SO killing me), all hysterical and hyper, that she saw zfpxlifpoh* on her way to uni.
she almost breaks my eardrum. heh. =p
i'm sure i will visit again some day lar, okie? remember u promised u will let me bunk in hor. =)

5. met up with jsjt* with her sis on sunday. (oh oh, it was sat when cfs* called!) and i feel suuuuuuper guilty after that 'coz i think i was the one who spread the as-though-not-that-deadly h1n1 to jsjt*.
i'm so sorry. rest more and be well soon, okie.
*heart you from the bottom of my heart*

6. people are bound to be more vulnerable when fell sick.
i even miss my brother who always scold me as cacat and noob when i don't understand his alien youngster msn language.

7. july is over soon =) kiss the disasters goodbye. solar eclipse tomorrow. eh, we won't be seeing any in singapore anyway.

8. i'm gonna use a total of 20 min (counting down) on this blog. i promise myself to head bed by 12.30 midnight, latest.
goodnite world.

what the heck.

i can't find my locker keys. =S

So it was my birthday

as in my previous entry, i was on-leave =)

other than the sleep-till-my-heart's-content-fix-meal-eat-bath-nua-in-front-of-computer, i did something which i've been wanting to do but somewhat been procrastinate:

I WENT FOR MY FIRST BLOOD DONATION.

when i was a lil younger -ahem-, i wasn't eligible for blood donation coz i was underweight. (ah, those days..)

and when i think i might be eligible for blood donation (as in the weight factor), work is always too busy, and i have to impression that i must get one day mc after donating blood, which given the work load, impossible.

[read: excuses]

since it was a totally spontaneous decision made (alright i'll just admit it, i was bore to max) - no time slot is available at HSA when i made the call for registration at about 2pm- i went to NUH blood donation centre. it feels funny that even if i was on leave, i was still taking the same route as if i'm going to work.

the whole process was okie. far better than what i speculate. except the intradermal local anesthesia is more than just 'ant's-bite'. i could even see the bump formed - which somehow reminds me of those cute little mice of mine (more on this later)- and so when the very gentle nurse push in the 16G needle, i feel totally nothing.

according to the nurse, my vein is big- so it takes just a while to get the bag of 450ml filled.

my first blood donation experience, i would say it's really great. nothing too stressful, nothing too painful. and the most important, you feel great after the process, and most likely you don't mind donating again.

sidetrack:
1) i feel complately okie after the process and things are just as normal. i still stay up late (like now).

2) i was wondering about blood stock and did some simple googling. to my astonishment, A group blood is running low! i thought that suppose to be some common blood group and they will have gallon of such blood. so, i was wrong.
link here.

3) then i wonder again, if one was to donate blood at hospital instead of HSA, will be blood collected be send to HSA, or the individual hospital have access to that blood? and thus, the indicator thingy on Point 2 only indicates the blood stock in HSA, or the whole singapore?

4) back to the issue of mice, i once accidentally perform an intradermal injection to a mouse (instead of intramuscular injection) 'coz i didn't push the needle deep enough. now that i really know how's an intradermal injection feels like, i will try to be more careful in the future.

5) i asked bmbo* about Point 3 'coz i thought he might know since he worked in SGH before (somewhat nearer to HSA). but my question remained unresolved. =( i shall wait until my next visit to blood donation centre.

Random random random

this is suppose to be a random post. and how lengthy is this depends on when my farm town finish loading =(

somewhat i'm regret- in order to save that 8+ bucks i got myself a 1Mbps internet plan instead of a 2Mbps one. and it's definitely slower than what i think i can endure (must be the over-spoil in Aussie). and it sucks when:
1) farm town takes forever to load (that's almost my one and only brainless entertainment, can?)

2) even when farm town finish loading, the connection server is lost and thus have to reload. average at every 10-15 minutes.

3) with such turtle speed, literature review at home is out of question. (but i'm loving it! leave your work at work and never bring back home okie).

4) even if i blog like now, i must constantly remember to Select All and Ctrl+ C, just in case after the whole entry went off, as i constantly see something like this:


(the font is small, but it says "Could not contact Blogger.com. Saving and publishing may fail. Retrying...".)

5) transferring files/songs/pics over msn is superrrrr slow.
(please email me instead and i will try to download the files/songs/pics when i'm at work (read below), which they use 100Mbps. it means 100X faster, theoretically).

6) paying bills online with slow connection is risky, coz when you send in the request and the page stop loading after a while coz it's too slow and you brilliantly click refresh, it sends in your request twice, and thus you make your payment TWICE. that happened to my previous Singtel mobile bill, which costs me SGD103.09 (i have some previous bills yet to pay). but twice, it means another SGD103.09. i can don't pay my bill for at least the next 2 months. but i'm broke now.

That's all i can think of (for now), then again i know i shouldn't have complained too much, but this is suppose to be some entry to kill time. so bear with me, please. =p

+++

talking about checking emails, all my mail box are flooded. =( the thought of checking emails freak me out with my internet speed. and i hardly have time during work.

1) my yahoo mail box is flooded with all the comments made after some pictures my friends posted and tagged. and i haven't really clear the inbox since then.

2) my hotmail is flooded with my own mail forwarded from my work email, since there are some problems with the printer settings and we can only print out documents from that particular computer BUT only with administrator log-in. but i'm not administrator for that computer. so i have to log in administrator account, but Microsoft Outlook won't be mine. so i have to use personal email. gah, hard to explain here.

3) my work email is flooded by my hotmail (sometimes to mail back to my account after changes made before final printing), my colleagues, and mainly, my boss, who likes everything in black and white and thus CC us in whatever email conversation with others.

4) even my FB mail box is 'flooded'. (not literally). but i have TEN messages there - it suppose to be a ZERO unread mail stuff.


Other than number 3, (oh well, i still check my work office mail no matter how busy, at least at the end of the day before i cheong home), i seldom check the rest nowadays. so if you have any files/songs/pics that you tried to send to me via msn but FAILED, do NOT leave your email subject as [No Subject], 'coz i will definitely miss read (or worst, never read). waste your effort. not a very good thing to do, eh?

the one and ONLY mail box which is still quite free is my google mail! ha, but i'm not telling what's the address, just in case i have more and more mail box to clear.

+++

i've been schedule and re-schedule my time slot/ experiments slot. end result? i do things spontaneously.

1) i spontaneously decide to go back to JB on past weekend as the training session is spontaneouly postpone to one week later. (ah, coz my sister is going back to Penang and my bro is back to JB from Seremban, so it's like, last get-together before their next semester break).

2) i spontaneously say okie and yes to whatever requests made by others. =/

3) i spontaneously re-schedule my cell culture experiment when i realize i forgot to prebook the biosafety cabinet the day before, and end up having dinner first and back to the lab for cell culture work.

4) i spontaneously decide to take leave tomorrow since there is lesser work (as compared to other days). hence here am i playing farm town + blog my time away.

+++

something totally irrelevant to this entry.
1) i lost my EZ link card. again =S

2) my colleague kjfivj* brought me to Paulaner Brauhaus German located at MWalk for dinner. nice nice ^^. and we are going again this Thursday.

3) i'm still listening to Penny's latest album. the longest ear bug announced.

4) i realize it's madness to read each and every 'updates' they have on FB, when i have about 200 friends. i think those have 500 friends either a) never read a single updates, or b) only read the first page when they logged in.

5) the microinjection training is fun fun FUN. albeit sophisticated, i believe we can do it! luck is needed as well, no doubt.

6) tbuptij* from Japan are bringing his parent to NZ and will be having their transit in Singapore. DINNER SCHEDULED. gosh, that's September and i'm so think that i'll forget when time reach. someone anyone can remind me of that?

7) i decided to just leave my desktop Marvin as it is, instead of trying to photoshop the eye to red.


with black eyes.
i had a terrible scary dream last night with the red eye one -.-"
DON'T PANIC!

p/s =) nice company online. thanks for the wishes.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

When i was younger, only my brother played those vehicle-turns-robot toys.
Truly speaking, it's not some movies that i will dig out that 8 dollars from my pocket for. If it's not from the NUS family day treat, i might not be interested to watch the show.

But it turned out fabulous! And the show itself is self-explanatory even if you missed the first movie (not sure if there's any),

I actually felt sad when Optimus was killed =(, given that he's an autobot.

+++

I was watching Red Eye on Channel 5 while typing the above and chatting with bmbo*.
It reminds me of Flightplan by Jodie Foster.

Red Eye: Definition (googled)

A red-eye flight is any flight departing late at night. The term derives from the fatigue symptom of having red eyes, which can be caused or aggravated by overnight travel.

A red-eye flight typically moves from west to east during the overnight hours. It departs late at night, lasts only about three to five hours, an insufficient period to get fully rested in-flight, and due to rapid forward time zone changes the aircraft lands around dawn. As a result, many travelers are unable to get sufficient rest before a new day of activity.

From a marketing standpoint, the flights allow business travelers an opportunity to migrate eastward without impacting a full business day.

Most eastward transatlantic crossings from North America to Europe are operated overnight, but are generally not viewed as red-eye flights since they depart early in the evening and last at least seven hours. A full night's rest is thus theoretically possible.

兩難

我說去亦難留亦難怎麼辦
有些話只能偷偷拿出來紀念遺憾
我說愛亦難恨亦難分作兩半
有些人注定和寂寞相伴

有些人注定只能作伴

I recently signed up for something that was more of a luxury than a necessity. Thanks to the sales rep and her sweet talking. =S

Due to the above, I feel a little guilty about it. And it definitely puts a temporary strain on my budget.

Then again, sometimes luxury items can lift the spirits, and the virtue of returning/ canceling it wouldn't cancel the need for a few days of belt-tightening! -in self deceiving mode-

Payday will be around again before I know it given the busy life I'm living in now. =)

I had it all planned.

9amsharp: Wake up
9:40am latest: Catch bus
10am ~ ? : Transformers at cheeeap price =D + Lunch
2pm: Travel back to lab
3pm ~ ? : ES cell thawing + culture

Thereafter: Head home. Then nua nua nua at home.

(How I wish there is 3 weekdays and 4 weekends in a week).

niteyz.

weird enough..

.. i suddenly missed you today.

Cool down!

But it's so hard!
i have a premonition that I'm gonna scream at him, soon!

now...

... i feel like crying.

it feels sucky when you see your boss's name in your personal email.
i shall ask my colleague to stop CC my personal email in any conversation between boss and us.
or alternatively ask my boss to stop 'reply all'.
the earlier seems easier though.

i need that something...

Can anyone
help
by
knocking me down
with
a stick
a broom
or maybe
the gentler way
like Merlot or Pinot
but the effect of latter is so slow
that i wonder
if it helps
'coz it will be morning
in two hours time

i think
the sleep god
has forsaken me

What happened?

I just realized I have bruise here and there (except the one I mentioned the other day on the anterior part of lower right leg). -waking up with unknown bruises? hmm, i rather believe i accidentally thumped myself into something rather than the superstitious belief - being pinched by ghost.

The latter sounds scary since I am, technically speaking, living alone.


EDITED: I googled and it seems like some diseases and deficiencies might lead to unknown bruising. Then again, I guess the one thing that I really lack of, is sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Monday blue? nar, it's Monday black.

It's darker than Friday 13th. =S

I've been clearing up mess for other people. I hope the necessary party will come back soon and clear their own mess.

I walked directly to a trolley this afternoon while shifting equipment and consummables up to Level 3. Brilliant. Now there is this one big blue-black on the anterior part of my lower right leg. =(

Luckily Monday is over in less than 2 hours. =) Meeting up with za bo difo* tomorrow, the uni mates on the following day, followed by -ahem- (am not telling) with tijsmfz*.

Heh, who cares if it's black. =]

Ridiculous.

I mean me.

Apparently I've upgraded from the Unhealthy Habit version #1 to version #1.1 now.

Version #1: reachedhome-washhands/feet/face-oncomputer-liedonbed-fallasleep-wakeupatmidnight-removecontactlenses-bath-dinnersupper cycle. Cycle usually ends at 4 am.

Upgraded version #1.1: reachedhome-washhands/feet/face--cookmeal-oncomputer-makan-computer+TVforhoursssss-removecontactlenses-bath-cycle. Cycle still ends at 4 am!

(should you never notice, there isn't 'fallasleep' in version #1.1).

Mentally i'm tired but physically i'm not. This is so not me. =(
I should store some alcohol at home. for knock out purpose.

+++

With Malaysia first confirmed locally transmitted H1N1 case (link here), some stupid idea struck me this morning while on the way to work.

It seems possible to trace down flight passengers, train passengers, MRT passengers, or even bus passengers (probably by checking the serial number of EZ link card, I'm not sure), but is there a way to trace down cabbie passenger/driver??

For me, I don't usually notice the name of the driver (let alone the car plate number), unless the driver was super nice (so I might consider writing compliment letter), or super sucks (so I might consider writing complaint letter). Even so, the moment I got off from the cab, there's very high chance that I'll just forget all totally. Unless for claiming purpose (as in, say, OT), most of the time I won't ask for receipt also.

If one day the cabby driver who is so suey kena the virus and I'm so suey halt his cab and later he so suey down with flu and so suey is hospitalised and so suey he remember he once fetched me on his cab BUT so suey, he has totally no idea how to contact me!

And if the story is the other way round that I'm the suey one who got the virus, I don't think I will remember the driver/car plate number too! It will be fortunate enough already if I can recall the cab company or car model.

I've come out with conclusion that I shall cut down on taking cab.

Total nonsense.

here i am sitting right in front of computer with fan blown at top speed. yes it's hot even if it's deep at night. but of more importance, to blow dry my hair.

i've started the very unhealthy reachedhome-washhands/feet/face-oncomputer-liedonbed-fallasleep-wakeupatmidnight-removecontactlenses-bath-dinnersupper cycle. the effect is more than deleterious i must say.

my eyes are rabbit-like red due to prolonged hour of contact lenses wearing. i shall act nerd and wear my specs to work tomorrow. oops, i mean, later in about 7 hours time.

i need to reset my biological clock. amazingly, i'm still functioning as normal at work.

+++

i wish i am 5cm taller (for more O2 intake) when i'm stucked in the middle of sardine-packed MRT cabin during the peak hour.

i wish i am 5cm shorter when the cloth/dress that i like seems nicer in smaller size rather than in my size.

+++

i finally bring myself to actually type this out.
i've needed space. and i need space. literally.

maybe i'm weird. but i can't stick to same routine same flow same companies for long. i am a boring person inside i know, thus i constantly need stimulus from different sources, by mingle with different people. stay very close to one small group of people is not really my cup of tea. probably because my work nature itself is not very entertaining and eye-opening already.

i know i'm contradicting myself 'coz some of the time i'm practically doing the same thing over and over again (like repeating the experiments and repeating the unhealthy cycle mentioned above).. well, i AM contradicting. i admit that.

i welcome once in a while (alright probably MORE than once in a while) closeness (or togetherness, whatever you call it), but if one meet/call/text/msn/everyday, i will go nut.

i can't take that kind of 'closeness' so to say. whether it's friendship or relationship. like my young colleague who dates every single day? i'm so not up to it! that probably explains why i am single. oh well. i guess the only person that i can stand meeting and seeing everyday, is my family.

and the reason why i can't take that kind of overly type of care and concern (in my context, that is), i guess it's because i think i'm not able to return you back the same amount of love and warmth that you had on me, or 无以回报 (it doesn't sound correct but i can't really find word to describe).

sometimes i prefer distance over closeness. i am weird. i know. i might gradually change, who knows?

+++

we've been working out with what's wrong with our western blot system. =S
it's so tiring that i actually fell asleep during my facial session yesterday. (more on this later).
end up it's due to acrylamide. how interesting can that be? i retest each component from APS (every online forum said if gel doesn't polymerize the problem MUST be APS) to TEMED to 1.5M Tris buffer pH8.8 to 10% SDS (and i almost going to test MiliQ water as well). least i could think of is the problem actually lies with ACRYLAMIDE! how ridiculous can?!!

+++

i arrived damn late for facial treatment yesterday. and i was terribly late for half an hour (because that western blot gel that doesn't polymerize). like what my young colleague mentioned, girls' money is quite easy to cheat. it costs me a bomb for the package. =(

it better produces miraclegood result.

(talking about oh-how-come-some-girls-cant-keep-their-money, one very funny story to share. my colleague kjfivj* once only spend 1.5 bucks on dinner, and turn around and get a GUESS handbad for 150 bucks. lolx.)

+++

i spend one of my leisure weekend afternoons at Popular bookshop browsing through traveller guides like '500 must do in XXX' or '500 must visit historical places'.

i STILL wana go Italy.

+++

thanks to mja* i finally finished loading pic to FB. tried hard not to have repeat to what other people have posted (and tagged me), but i didn't do final check. later.
now i have to clear my flooded mail box. that's of utmost importance. lol.

+++

please don't wish me happy birthday.
i don't want to be happy only on birthday.
please don't give me present.
oh well, it just that, we don't have the culture of celebrating birthdays in my family.

+++

this entry is like total rubbish.
hair- dried.
time to sleep.
my current ear bugs - the whole lastest album of penny dai.
niteyz.

BUAY TAHAN!
&^$*&(*&%)(_*%@#$

This post responds to Ju’s post.

I totally agree that it feels awful without that someone you can commiserate with. As student, the homework/ assignment given – more or less the same. Correction, as undergrad, that is. Now that seeing Ju openly talking about it, I would like to give a piece of my mind, too.

I’m not sure about the working culture in other countries/ institutes. In the institute I’m working at, we’re not encouraged to discuss with other people your project (at least my PI says so), with the reason of confidentiality. Even the other members of under the same PI might or might not have an idea about what the others doing. It makes it feels horrible because if you face any difficulties, there are virtually none you can talk to about. Of course, some might say, it’s just work after all, don't be vexed. And on top of that, we've got paid. So it’s ‘reasonable’ to feel stress. That comes back to the question of not comparing each other’s lives and nobody knows what’s going on exactly.

With Ju’s comparing her hons project with her friend’s project – the stress level, the technique, the time and energy needed, I, too, compare my job scope (and salary package) to the others. While other LE and some RA are merely follow instruction carrying out some experiments, why do I need to DECIDE and DESIGN the experiment. Like I will bear the responsibility if I decide to purchase the wrong cell line or the wrong Ab. Like I have the final say on what cancer I want to do. Apart from the ‘great responsibility’ that is given to me, I feel burden. I somewhat think I need some guidance FIRST before you throw me to decide on my own experiment. Of course to do the experiment ITSELF is okie. But what we used to have in poly/ uni is that all the whatever materials have been decided for you – and you just need to follow the protocol, step by step. Isn’t it a simple life? Well, life is never this simple. And this is just one part, not to mention the bioinformatics part. NCBI could be my most fav website in the future (I can't say for sure), but it’s definitely NOT my fav site for now. I know it’s stupid but I secretly hope that it’s down for a day or two. And the third part – this has something to do with the hazardous level ie the working environment we, as student/ scientist face. The carcinogen (EtBr, acrylamide etc), the radioactive materials, the cytotoxic material, the biohazardous material, to name just a few. And I actually need to pay more to get insured. Yet my pay is not a lot more higher. No wonder people say one really needs passion to be in this science field. This is because passion will then superceed all others weakness, for example fear (health level wise).

My colleague is so sure that he will die of lab-acquired disease with the amount of chemical he breath in, the hazard of chemical/ reagents he used, etc. Wouldn’t it be ironic if we, those who work in lab, trying to find cure/ underlying causes of cancer, die of cancer ourselves? And reason, due to prolong exposure of whatever chemical needed for the experiments. And prolong unhealthy lifestyle (as what I observed, most people in my lab start works around 11am, and never go home until 10pm). As I slowly adopt their working hour, I’m horrified. That will mean my life is all about work (coz all other people are having the normal 9-5 working schedule). No more friends no more outings no more meals no more pubbing no more datings. I darn what my colleague said to me ‘I think you are married to the gene XXX while I’m to YYY’. The only exercise we get to do is standing up all day doing experiments (for some day), or don’t move at all sitting in front of computer clicking away at the NCBI sites. Oh, sorry correction. I need to include the part where we need to climb up the slope to get to the building I’m working at.

I think I whine too much. I know that boss has been very stress himself as HIS boss will be stressing him as well. I think I just need a let out and some crisp-air and away from this city and I’ll be fine. The KK trip with other 700 crows did help in a big way, and the effect is still on-going. It’s just that I’m not sure how long this can last.

I truly appreciate talking to baibs* the other day. At least makes me feel more positive with all this shitty going on. And also ju’s post. Without her stimulus, I doubt I will ever consider sitting down and letting out what has been bothering me for the past few weeks.

BACK DATE: This post should be posted 2 weeks ago.

I moved to another place 2 days before I flew off for my Sabah trip. To be exact, it’s just the west coast of Sabah – the capital, Kota Kinabalu.

Comment: FUN FUN FUN!

It’s really fun to go on trip with people you know since forever. For you all know what is on each other’s mind. For you know that they won’t feel offended if you say something when you mean it as joke or even just passing remark. For you all know each other’s ‘pattern' so well. For it brings back old memories of school, and the trip add on to new memories!

As a old Chinese saying, 3 women equals to 1 market. There were 8 of us in the trip. Please use your imagination on how majestic the scene was when all of us hyper and talk and talk and TALK. So we have new name. Proudly present to you: the 800 crows! (1 person = 100 crows)

It was definitely unintentionally to attract attention BUT somewhat we did. Firstly we all don’t have those athlete face that we can conquer the highest mountain at South East Asia. Secondly, we can still talk non-stop even if we were dehydrated, tired, and having muscle ache all over. Thidly, all of us are cute. ;p

We enjoyed. We make fun of out very timid guide. We walked 6 hours and posed and took pictures along the way up to Laban Rata. We made conversations with other mountain climbers and the local mountain guides. We pissed that ang moh girl with our non-stop conversation (well, it was STILL early to sleep). We openly make cute guys who passed by our eye-candy. We applied counterpain/ salonpass bandage for each other. We shivered in cold together. We were sleepy/ tired but encouraged each other to get to the summit. We shared our sweets/ chocolate bar/ raisin. We missed the sunrise but we made it to the top altogether. We managed it without having boyfriends/ guy friends around us. We teased each other. We had muscle aches together. We don’t enjoy the strong wind on the top but we enjoy the height and the scenery with cloud beneath our feet. We trembled when it finally turns bright and we gathered it’s actually VERY high up there and with one wrong step you’ll say bye bye to the world. We cheered. We succeeded, and it definitely worth celebration!

(we did celebrate, of course!)

The 800 crows decided to make an effort to go somewhere annually. Crows that was left out with unforeseen reasons for this trip are encouraged to join back the troop for the next trip, tentatively to Krabi!

The photos are still unavailable as zffdijoh* yet to burn them out.

Side track 1: we walked 12km in total on the 2^nd day. (to summit – way down- back to HQ). break my personal record.

Side track 2: we were so damn popular as we were recognized by another group of foreigner at Pulau Mamutik as the 2^nd part of the trip.

Side track 3: I totally forgot my onions on Farm Town. All are dead when I come back to reality that fun time is always short.

It says ‘Onion Field – Gone to Waste’.

Gah, money wasted.

p/s** the crows have an official website - it's just starting up and most of us are too tied up with own work so there isn't much update. but there will be more! =)

see HERE.